Bringing Yashin Back to Ottawa

The decision by the New York Islanders to spend $17.63 million to buy out the remaining 4 years on Alexei Yashin's contract leaves the Russian "star" without a home.  Ottawa Sun columnist Bruce Garrioch reports that Mark Gandler, Yashin's agent, thinks a return to Ottawa might be a good fit. 

"It's a new chapter and we'll be calling Ottawa for sure."

"He had great stats last year. There won't even be a moment of hesitation involved if the Senators want to bring him back. He'd love to return to Ottawa, in fact."

Imagine that phone call.  Mark Gandler calls Ottawa Senators GM John Muckler to pitch him on Yashin.  HockeyDirt thinks it might go something like this.

MG: Hey John, its Mark.  Great to speak with you.  How are things up in Ottawa?

JM: Hello?  Mark? Messier?  Sorry I didn't catch the last name.

MG:  John, John, John. I can't believe you don't recognize my voice.  It's me, Gandler, the hockey agent, or "Agent Mark Gandler" as I like to call myself.  (laughs)

JM:  Ohhh, that Mark Gandler.  Right.  I think I read something about you recently...what was it?  Oh, I remember, it was something to do with Elias and some investments you made for him? 

MG:  (nervous laugh)  Ha, you saw that.  Don't believe everything you read John.  Patrik is getting some very bad legal advice.  He's a goofy Czech.  You know how wild and crazy those Czech guys are.  You had Hasek, look at how he stiffed you. 

JM:  Anyway, I'm kinda busy.  (nervously) You don't represent any of our guys do you? 

MG:  No, this isn't a business call John.  I just wanted to congratulate you and the Senators on the great playoff run you guys made this spring.  I am so happy for you.

JM: Uhh, sure, thanks, we lost.  Anyway, gotta run...

MG:  Hold on, I just need a few minutes John, I have a great idea I'd like to run past you.

JM:  Go ahead, but make it quick.  Shoot.

MG:  Well you probably heard that Alexei is looking for a new team.  I've been thinking Ottawa would be great fit.  Whaddya think about bring Alexei back to Ottawa?

JM:  Alexei who?

MG:  Yashin! Alexei Yashin, of course.  He's leaving the Islanders.

JM:  (laughing, drops phone, falls off chair) HAH!  Brilliant!  Come on, who is this?  Slats?  Wayne?  Is that you Wayne?  It's gotta be Wayne.  Man, you really got me this time.  I actually though it was Gandler for a sec.  You had me goin' but you blew it with the Yashin to Ottawa thing.  Hah!  Great prank, Wayner, I owe you one.

MG:  No, listen John, this isn't a joke.  This is Mark Gandler, and I am very serious.  Hear me out.  Bringing the big guy back to Ottawa is a brilliant idea.  He'd be a lock for comeback player of the year.

JM:  Are you drunk?  Yashin? Back to Ottawa?  He's despised in this town, he gets booed when his name shows up on the out-of-town scoreboard, even if he scores on the Leafs!  Ottawa fans hate Tucker but they'd take him over Yashin.  Hell, they'd take Pronger before Yashin and they realllllly hate Pronger.  Yashin burnt every conceivable bridge back to this town.  He didn't just burn the bridges, he burnt the roads, the traffic lights, everything.  He's hockey napalm in this place. 

MG:  John, hear me out.  Alexei's a great player, he's just misunderstood.  Sure, a few folks in Ottawa might remember that he stiffed them on two contracts.  Maybe a few even remember that he reneged on a big donation to the National Arts Centre in Ottawa.  But that's ancient history.  You've got a whole new fan base up there now...besides, they're Canadians, very forgiving people.

JM:  Uh, listen Gandler, I just don't think this would fly.  People might be a little fuzzy on the details, but they know Yashin got ran out of town, and nobody was sorry to see him go.  Besides, Yashin isn't exactly they kind of player we're looking for. 

MG:  Are you kidding me?  Alexei Yashin is a superstar. 

JM:  Look, I don't mean to be rude, but he didn't have a very good year, I really don't think he's what we're looking for. 

MG:  John, please.  He got injured and his linemates sucked.  It wasn't his fault.  He's still got the magic.  Look John, you know who's coaching on the Island.  It's that Ted Nolan guy.  You know him, nobody likes the guy.  I know you had trouble with him in Buffalo, right?  Nolan just didn't know how to handle Alexei, he didn't know how to motivate him.  He kept asking him to backcheck and silly stuff like that.  Alexei would be perfect between Alfie and Heatley.  That Spezza kid's got nothing, anybody could have tied for the playoff scoring lead between those guys.  By the way, Alexei thinks Spezza should give him back jersey number 19.  It's only right, Yash had it first.

JM:  Ummm. Gee, I dunno.  I watched the Islanders against Buffalo in the playoffs, Yashin was invisible.  No points, barely a shot a game.  Invisible.  I heard Ryan Smyth wanted to punch his lights out.  Sorry, I just don't think he'd fit, besides, Jason's just a kid, he's still learning, maturing, we think he has a huge upside.  The kid's gonna be a 100 point a season guy if he can stay healthy.

MG:  John, you drive a hard bargain.  Listen to me.  The deal Alexei had with the Isles paid him $7.6 million a year.  I tell you what we can do.  Because Alexei loves Ottawa sooo much, and feels sooo bad about the way he left last time, he's willing to give you a sort of "former hometown discount."  I'd have to speak with my client, but I'm pretty sure I could get him for you for something in the $6.5 to $7 million a year range.  A real bargin, but only because I like you, John. 

JM:  Are you drunk? 

MG:  No, John, come'on, you're missing the marketing angle.  Think of it.  The Senator's very first draft pick makes a triumphant return to the city and leads them to glory.  It's like a Hollywood movie. 

JM:  It is like a movie, I'm thinking Freddie Got Fingered or the Deuce Bigalow sequel.

MG:  Haven't seen those.  John, get this.  As a bonus, I could probably get supermodel Carol Alt to do some appearances for you guys.  She's hot!  A marketer's dream. 

JM:  She's my age isn't she?  Gee whiz Mark, I just dunno, we're just not interested. 

MG:  John, I have'ta tell you, I'm giving you Ottawa guys first shot at this deal.  I know others are gonna jump at getting Alexei on their roster.  I'm planning on giving Darryl a call in Calgary or maybe touching base with Jacques Martin in Florida, Alexei did some of his best work for Jacques.  You think Burkey might bite?  Teemu might retire, so Alexei could slide right into his spot on the Duck's top line.  Or Lindy!  Buffalo might be a good spot, they'll be lookin for some centers if Briere and Drury ask for too much. 

JM:  (smirking) Wow Mark, those sound like terrific ideas.  While you're at it don't forget Montreal.  Call Gainey, I'll give you his number.  Suggest he hook up Yashin and Kovalev, imagine what those two could accomplish together!  Listen, I think we'll take a pass, but let me know how it works out for you.  See ya.

JM:  Ok John, but you're missing a great opportunity.  Say, you got the number for JFJ in Toronto..... 

Comments

[outburst]

Great stuff. =D
By the end of it you had me thinking, maybe Ferguson is crazy enough to bring him to T.O.
I hope not!

[CW]

If any team gives Yashin another chance - they are crazy...I hope Yashin does not play another hockey game in the NHL or even better he goes to training camp and is assigned to the farm team...Here's hoping

[Moray]

Nice!

i like hokey wen they shoot the ball thingy in the goal and they skate real fast and duirng half time they dance and play games and then they play the rest of the 4 quarters